Well.....today's been a bad day, to put it mildly. My side and back have been bothering more today and yesterday and If elt nauseous and light headed and like I was going to puke for the first part of work until break. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my pains as I've hated before though part of me wonders if I should be buying another pregnancy test. Just to be on the safe side. I felt better after eating something and getting a little air.
Coming home I logged onto the computer as per usual and was immedieatlyh pissed off at an online associate who kept saying "morning sickness" and "MRI's" when I didn't even want her opinion. Things were pretty okay after that I guess.
Things got to the worst point when Scott told me his mom was at a meeting to try and keep her second job. I knew what this meant, that things would become even tighter and harder for their family and the chances of Scott moving and being a ble to see him again would drop drastically. This isn't something I want, and Im scared shitless of it. I've got my fingers crossed for everything to work out for the best (damn super intendents) but California's a sucky ass state to be in right now and I'm so worried its almost making me sick.
Though I know he does part of me wonders if Scott knows how important all of this is to me. I can't even imagine how mundane and boring school must be for him right now no matter how many times he tells me.....but its all he has to get money ri ght now and while that's racking up more debt I know the money iso ur only option of getting the move to go forward and seeing each other again. I'm just so sick and tired of waiting and some days feel like none of this is ever going to go anywhere. Though withi as much as it hurts I know that means its worth it.
Sigh.
At least one good thing came out of this I suppouse. For the first time, in well, ever....I called my mom and talked about all the above while crying into the phone. I'm so glad my relationship with her and my dad is better. It was comforting to be able to confide in her like that. Pondering jsut curling up with a book and falling asleep now. I just feel miserable.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Bad Day
Well.....today's been a bad day, to put it mildly. My side and back have been bothering more today and yesterday and If elt nauseous and light headed and like I was going to puke for the first part of work until break. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my pains as I've hated before though part of me wonders if I should be buying another pregnancy test. Just to be on the safe side. I felt better after eating something and getting a little air.
Coming home I logged onto the computer as per usual and was immedieatlyh pissed off at an online associate who kept saying "morning sickness" and "MRI's" when I didn't even want her opinion. Things were pretty okay after that I guess.
Things got to the worst point when Scott told me his mom was at a meeting to try and keep her second job. I knew what this meant, that things would become even tighter and harder for their family and the chances of Scott moving and being a ble to see him again would drop drastically. This isn't something I want, and Im scared shitless of it. I've got my fingers crossed for everything to work out for the best (damn super intendents) but California's a sucky ass state to be in right now and I'm so worried its almost making me sick.
Though I know he does part of me wonders if Scott knows how important all of this is to me. I can't even imagine how mundane and boring school must be for him right now no matter how many times he tells me.....but its all he has to get money ri ght now and while that's racking up more debt I know the money iso ur only option of getting the move to go forward and seeing each other again. I'm just so sick and tired of waiting and some days feel like none of this is ever going to go anywhere. Though withi as much as it hurts I know that means its worth it.
Sigh.
At least one good thing came out of this I suppouse. For the first time, in well, ever....I called my mom and talked about all the above while crying into the phone. I'm so glad my relationship with her and my dad is better. It was comforting to be able to confide in her like that. Pondering jsut curling up with a book and falling asleep now. I just feel miserable.
Coming home I logged onto the computer as per usual and was immedieatlyh pissed off at an online associate who kept saying "morning sickness" and "MRI's" when I didn't even want her opinion. Things were pretty okay after that I guess.
Things got to the worst point when Scott told me his mom was at a meeting to try and keep her second job. I knew what this meant, that things would become even tighter and harder for their family and the chances of Scott moving and being a ble to see him again would drop drastically. This isn't something I want, and Im scared shitless of it. I've got my fingers crossed for everything to work out for the best (damn super intendents) but California's a sucky ass state to be in right now and I'm so worried its almost making me sick.
Though I know he does part of me wonders if Scott knows how important all of this is to me. I can't even imagine how mundane and boring school must be for him right now no matter how many times he tells me.....but its all he has to get money ri ght now and while that's racking up more debt I know the money iso ur only option of getting the move to go forward and seeing each other again. I'm just so sick and tired of waiting and some days feel like none of this is ever going to go anywhere. Though withi as much as it hurts I know that means its worth it.
Sigh.
At least one good thing came out of this I suppouse. For the first time, in well, ever....I called my mom and talked about all the above while crying into the phone. I'm so glad my relationship with her and my dad is better. It was comforting to be able to confide in her like that. Pondering jsut curling up with a book and falling asleep now. I just feel miserable.
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