Listening too: Glee/Mamma Mia
Mood: Just....Am
Latley i've been feeling like I'm just running, or even standing in place. The past few weeks have been so much of the same thing, day in day out. I get up in the morning, I go to work, I come home and get online. Every day, almost. Work and here is where I spend most of my time and it just gets so...mundane. Even going out to walmart with Cassie today was nice because it was a little different. But I ache for a change, something new, something different.
Don't get me wrong, my life now isn't BAD. I'd just like...more.
I guess the thing that spurred this on most was the knowledge that another of my best and childhood friends is almost through college and getting married this Summer. Talking to my mom last night, I know and I share the sentiments, that its better to wait. I don't want to get married just to end up in a divorce two years down the line....I want life to be more stable and more concrete, I want the man to be the right one. But that doesn't make the feeling go away as I watch so many friends and classmates my age or younger, married, through college. Some even have kids.
It really makes me feel as if their lives are happening and mine isn't. I'm just a stander by. Watching. Waiting for my turn.
In other news, the doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me. Muscle spasms, and lots of them, from tension and stress. I guess its my own fault really, I stress and worry about EVERYTHING. Literally. Mor says I need to learn some breathing techniques to manage it better, I really should. Though I also learned yesterday that its most likely hereditary - as my dad takes the some thing for it I do.
Damn genes!
Anyway...I guess thats all for now.
Does anyone read this anyways?
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Friday, March 19, 2010
Going Through The Motions?
Listening too: Glee/Mamma Mia
Mood: Just....Am
Latley i've been feeling like I'm just running, or even standing in place. The past few weeks have been so much of the same thing, day in day out. I get up in the morning, I go to work, I come home and get online. Every day, almost. Work and here is where I spend most of my time and it just gets so...mundane. Even going out to walmart with Cassie today was nice because it was a little different. But I ache for a change, something new, something different.
Don't get me wrong, my life now isn't BAD. I'd just like...more.
I guess the thing that spurred this on most was the knowledge that another of my best and childhood friends is almost through college and getting married this Summer. Talking to my mom last night, I know and I share the sentiments, that its better to wait. I don't want to get married just to end up in a divorce two years down the line....I want life to be more stable and more concrete, I want the man to be the right one. But that doesn't make the feeling go away as I watch so many friends and classmates my age or younger, married, through college. Some even have kids.
It really makes me feel as if their lives are happening and mine isn't. I'm just a stander by. Watching. Waiting for my turn.
In other news, the doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me. Muscle spasms, and lots of them, from tension and stress. I guess its my own fault really, I stress and worry about EVERYTHING. Literally. Mor says I need to learn some breathing techniques to manage it better, I really should. Though I also learned yesterday that its most likely hereditary - as my dad takes the some thing for it I do.
Damn genes!
Anyway...I guess thats all for now.
Does anyone read this anyways?
Mood: Just....Am
Latley i've been feeling like I'm just running, or even standing in place. The past few weeks have been so much of the same thing, day in day out. I get up in the morning, I go to work, I come home and get online. Every day, almost. Work and here is where I spend most of my time and it just gets so...mundane. Even going out to walmart with Cassie today was nice because it was a little different. But I ache for a change, something new, something different.
Don't get me wrong, my life now isn't BAD. I'd just like...more.
I guess the thing that spurred this on most was the knowledge that another of my best and childhood friends is almost through college and getting married this Summer. Talking to my mom last night, I know and I share the sentiments, that its better to wait. I don't want to get married just to end up in a divorce two years down the line....I want life to be more stable and more concrete, I want the man to be the right one. But that doesn't make the feeling go away as I watch so many friends and classmates my age or younger, married, through college. Some even have kids.
It really makes me feel as if their lives are happening and mine isn't. I'm just a stander by. Watching. Waiting for my turn.
In other news, the doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me. Muscle spasms, and lots of them, from tension and stress. I guess its my own fault really, I stress and worry about EVERYTHING. Literally. Mor says I need to learn some breathing techniques to manage it better, I really should. Though I also learned yesterday that its most likely hereditary - as my dad takes the some thing for it I do.
Damn genes!
Anyway...I guess thats all for now.
Does anyone read this anyways?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I read it baby, always :)
ReplyDeleteEverything will be okay. I know what you mean about mundane. Even the small things like getting out for a bit tends to break things up a bit. We'll have a better life when I come. I promise we'll go out and do things.