I guess This is it

I'm really not in the mood to, but I guess....I'll post what I can on the happenings of the past few days, week or so. But it all came out to this basically.

I'm single. Scott and I broke up. Yeah, it was my call. You can say I'm a bitch, I'm evil, I don't deserve love or whatever you want to spout. And right now, I feel exactly that way. I hurt myself and someone close to me, whom I didn't want to give up. But after days of thinking about things, talking to people, I came to the realization that our relationship wasn't going to work right now. He told me it looked as if I was trying to change him....I guess thats partially true, if you mean I wanted him back to who he was before all this drama.

I guess I don't expect him to understand all my reasons and feelings on this right now, I just hope he knows that I do care for him and I'm still here whenever he wants to be friends again. Because I think I'd cry even harder if we didn't at least try to keep that somewhere down the line. But my mom and my best friend helped me realize that I need to consider myself first. Is he making me happy right now? Why not? Etcetera, etcetera.

It sounds selfish, but I guess that's just kind of how things go. I hope my life can stay relatively the same though. I think I've dried up all my tears....for now. Granted I'll probably look back and start crying again later.

Just a bit of randomness before bed

Haven't posted in a bit so just posting a bit of randomness before I fall into bed for day 7 of work in a row, then I get my wisdom teeth out on Friday....Whee....It's at the Free Doctor's Clinic so I really hope they have decent stuff to at least numb my mouth if they won't knock me out. Cuz if not, I am running out of there with my tail between my legs screaming "NO! NO! NO!"

I went to one of Sister's graduation ceremonies out of the three she has this month. This was for the Night of Excellence. So proud of her, wish I had worked that hard when I was her age but at least I feel like I'm finally getting my life back on track. It's a good feeling, and I know I'm not going to give up this time for as my dad said "I've been around the block" a few times. though on a note of her graduation, you think after Three years they'd know how to pronounce her name. Its not that hard...seriously, Solveig. Solveig. Solveig. Solveig. Maybe that's just cuz I've been saying it all my life *shrugs* Either way, it's been three years....You would think.

In other news, First Ever St. George Coffee Party This May 21st! WOOO! For more info visit my Facebook.

May is such a hectic month. Anyway, thats all for now. Just random tidbits. Good night world!

I Saw This On Facebook 2.0

Another disgusting group I saw on Facebook today.

This is sick. This is wrong. This is NOT Patriotic, in no way is the Government supporting this. This is racist, and a lot of these "terrorists" are probably US Citizens. Just because someone is Muslim, has different views than your own and are strange or 'evil' in your eyes does not make them terrorists.

There have always been hate crimes, unfortunately, but they say a rapid growth after the events of 9/11. Don't believe me?

Source #1

Source #2
Source #3
Source #4

1,500 Hate crimes to Muslims, Islamics, etc after 9/11! Fifteen hundred! How do we think this is right? Is America really so ignorant to go out and kill innoceent people just because a small group of people made Terrorist attacks on our country? It was a tragedy, but that does not mean we pinpoint everyone for the fault of it.

I for one,will not be taking part of this and hope no one does. If you want to stop terrorism, there are better, more productive ways than walking naked around your neighborhood and hoping someone will KILL THEMSELVES.

I Saw this on Facebook today

So I was on Facebook today, usually what day am I not, and saw this group:

"" DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN."

Honestly, I thought it was sick, over the top, and wrong. I've seen people join groups such as "Impeach Obama" (Uh guys, he's done nothing worth impeachment. Look it up first) "10,000 against Obama's Health care Reform" Etcetera. And while I may not agree with those views and some of the extremes and extremists I've seen I can still respect that.

But this, this while not quite as bad as the guy on Twitter who was calling for someone to shoot our president of the united states, is just ridiculous. now, I myself have never read the bible. But that doesn't mean I'm ignorant about it, and I know there is a part of it that says "Love Thy Enemy." I'm pretty sure that means don't kill them, and don't wish death on them so that someone might take it seriously and goes and kills them. Thats called murder. Assassination. Its wrong, and it will land you in jail.

/end rant

Little By Little

Well Listening to the musical soundtrack, Little By Little, can really make you think. So that's where this blog gets started....

Lyrics:

Choices were easy when crayons were green
and red, blue and yellow and nothing between
turquoise and fusia and aquamarine
make it much harder to choose
Which of lifes colors to use



Isn't that the perfect analogy? When life was easy? When there were only a few colors in the crayon box....the basics, not all these different shades like red violet, turquoise, midnight blue....Need I go on?

I really do miss the days when choices were that easy. Its amazing now you look back at yourself. When you think you knew everything and your parents were just the evil people trying to stop you and they didn't know anything about you. I am amazed at myself looking back at that. I realize now how easy I had it, I wish I had worked harder. Got more A's and B's in High school rather than C's and D's, I think about it and I realize I'd probably be in a much better place because of it all right now. Because now, every day it feels like I'm swimming against the current and I wonder if it would feel any different how I had worked harder when I was younger.

This isn't to say I regret everything though, like meeting Scott, moving in with him, falling in love with him. I've just had so many uncertainty's lately it seems.

Do I spend time with Scott, who always seems so depressed though I know that isn't entirely his fault, sometimes I do wonder if it will ever change. I hate myself for that. Do I spend my time with my family who I've come to cherish so much more and bond with as I've grown older. I'm so afraid of having so little time left with them as my dad isn't getting an younger and my youngest sister is heading towarsd Sweden and College in a few short months. While I, 22, am barely beginning myself.

Again I ask myself....why didn't I work as hard as her? Of course, you never really see this stuff until you're older and more experienced and look back on it. Why didn't I listen to my parents? Well its too late now I guess, its all happened, I can only change my future....its just a little depressing to look back at that.

Am I abusing my relationship with Scott for wanting to spend so much time with my family in this hard times when he needsme most?

Then I'm afraid of giving things I love up, like my X men writing and other hobbies. While I'm growing up and becoming more serious, I still want these things to be part of my life and I wonder if I'll have time for everything ever again.

Texas TextBook Wars

The Texas textbook wars, as their being called as they catch the attention of everyone across the country, first caught my attention a few weeks ago. I was angered, and furious at it but it had slipped my mind for a time as the Healthcare Reform which has finally passed I grew passionate about and argued about. Now, though, the TTW has caught my attention again. Much to my dismay. Not because I don't want to know whats going on in the world, conservative or liberal(Like me). I'm dismayed because this is unbelievably and ridiculous.

My first question is...WHY? Why are these people, Dentists and real estate agents, deciding what goes into History, Social Studies and Economic Textbooks not only in Texas....but eventually in 90% of the United States? Do Dentists and real estate agents seem liked the type people who should be deciding what goes in HISTORY Books? None of them have any kind of degree in history, not a Masters or Bachelor, so why are the one's deciding?

They are seriously RE-WRITING History. Forcing their views on young and impressionable children from grade K to grade 12. This demeens an individuals ability to think for themselves and form their own opinions. Because, truly if your taught one thing the majority of your life its hard to turn around and think otherwise.

If this goes through in May, I feel saddened for the children that these views will be forced upon. As these cirrculiums only go through grade K-12 I imagine once they get to College they will be very ignorant and will be demanding that people such as Thomas Jefferson and Harriet Tubman don't exist. That there is no seperation of church and state. That there was no slavery, and that America is WHITE.

If the TTW have done one one good thing for me, they've finally allowed me to firmly decide what I'm going to Major in College this fall.

History.

One other thing Ik now, is that if this goes through and May....when I have children their either getting home schooled, or sent to a private school if I can afford it. So that they can become unique individuals who have the knowledge and the power to form their own opinions.

This Is What Change Looks Like

This is what Change Looks Like.

President Barack Obama said that last night, when the Bill for the much needed Health Care reform was narrowly passed in the House. I know I felt a wave of relief when it was passed, that we had actually done it. That , finally, someone was willing to do the right thing for the greatest good for the greatest number. Its not perfect, its not all it could be. But it IS a step in the right direction.

Today, I realize though I’m still relieved and happy it passed, the barricades only narrowly holded. We still did it, but there’s still a long way to go. I know there’s so many uninformed people in this country who will try to vote the Democrats out of the house of Senate, and if successful they’ll loose the small majority they have. If this happens, it’ll be much harder for Obama and the Democrats to get anything that the country, that the PEOPLE, need done. In turn, it will make things easier for the Republicans to Repel the bill. Or at least try.

I want to ask….WHY?

Its not hurting you. But that’s the thing isn’t it? You’re not the middle class, the working class. You’re not poverty. You don’t care how many people in this nation suffer, as long as your not effected. You’re greedy, you’re selfish. You’re not concerned about the greatest good, for the greatest number.

I pray and hope that when 2014 comes around the Democrats can still do what needs to be done, I hope we still have Obama or another Democratic president who is willing to help the people and not just themselves.

No one ever said change was easy. After Obama was elected, no one ever said it would happen in a day. A week, even a year. But sure as he promised, he kept his word unlike so many, change is HAPPENING. Please, I beg of you, lets keep it that way.

I am sorely disappointed that my State representive, John Matheson, voted against the Health Care reform and now I know I will never be voting for him again. I can’t do much from where I am, but I can do something. An d I will be doing all that a twenty two year old, working class, college student Can Do.

Yes We Can.